'Pan Chod'

Another post.

I spend most of my days here(London) eating and sleeping and chilling. And all this lazying around is making me feel useless. So just to feel better about myself, I was wondering as to what I have learned so far during my 'soporific sojourn' in London. I genuinely have no clue as to what 'soporific sojourn' means. All I know is that it can be used in this contest. I am trying hard as hell trying to remember where I came across this, but I can't. 

Serious introspection has revealed a number of learnings which I sincerely believe are of utmost utility and would serve me well for the rest of my life. So I present the 8 most useful learnings below. (8? Why not 5 or 10? That's exactly why.) 

1) I have become quite an expert in scrapping off grime of utencils using a butter knife. I actually pride myself in this.

2) I have mastered the art of sleeping in the bathing tub. Trust me. It is really tough. A lot of hard work went into it and my persistence finally paid off.

3) I now know that one 'takes' and doesn't 'give' a test, thanks to Colonel Raaj. Although I still keep using 'giving' instead of 'taking', I now know that I am wrong.

4) My level of culinary skills has increased by the factor of infinity. (0.76/0=infinity ; 0.76 on a scale of 100). Burned, inedible, scrambled eggs is my speciality. It is commonly accepted in the 'Maison de la Maut'(that's what Chadha likes to call our 'House of the Dead') that I am the best cook in the house.

5) I am more socially clumsy that I ever was. I have managed to blurt out 'I am good' before the other person enquired about my well being, every single time I was introduced to someone.

6) I can now walk like a normal human being.  Having walked alongside my brother over the years(who walks as if his pants were on fire), I tend to hurry. But that has been rectified.

7) I can now swear 'Behen Chod' in a way which would make even someone like Vinod (I mean, Veenudh) seem like an amateur. I am still working on my 'Pan Chod' though.   

8) And I now know that LUCK is a slut. 

I am still waiting for some stupid suggestions on topics to write about from you guys. And I would let anyone who is interested, to write the next post on my blog. Confirm your willingness in the comments section of this one.

Another thing. I just can't resist myself from saying that we(Deccan Chargers) are the champions and all the other teams in the IPL kind of suck donkey balls. 

One last thing. I believe this is the last post for this month. The first post in June will see the return of ................. So anyone wanting to write the next post have the extra incentive of being graced by .................

tA Da, not tA dA!